I DO, I DON’T ...
I DO, I DON’T - I WON’T - I CAN’T - What happens when the big day turns into just another day.
It’s almost here, the big day, the one you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl (or boy). You can just picture it. Your father walks you down that long aisle, your friends are blissfully envious, the venue is perfumed with the scent of very expensive flowers, and love is in the air! So why can’t you breathe? You’ve changed your mind!
Regardless of the reasons we jump or run or leap into a marriage (a story for another day) that we know is doomed; there are some of us that choose to walk away BEFORE the big day, or even during, and just as starting a marriage isn’t easy, neither is ending one, even one that hasn’t happened yet.
Once this decision has been made, there are others that need to be made as well, such as:
Depending on how close you are to the wedding date, things have been booked, deposits left (venue, flowers, dresses, and oh yeah, let’s not forget your ‘almost better half, and family and friends’ need to be told <gulp>). While we here at RDK want nothing more than to help plan, schedule and book your wedding day, it is YOUR day, not ours, and so, if such day is no longer what you want, we can help with that too. We can do the dirty work, while you focus on getting cleaned up.
If YOU do choose to, here are some ways to get started.
Priorities first. There’s a reason we say ‘I do’ - it’s all about the ‘I’. YOU need to take care of YOU. Here are the 5 things you need to address, in no specific order.
1. MONEY HONEY - Have YOU made any deposits that you could possibly get back. You don’t need to explain (sometimes tears can help) but the sooner you can call and STOP THE WEDDING, the better, and the easier your chances are of getting back some of those deposits, or you can ‘network network network’. Call your bffs who recently got engaged and offer them your date, your band, even your dress. Ask your venue if they can keep your deposit to use at another time (feel optimistic!).
2. THE DRESS - if you were a perfect size whatever and bought your dress off the rack without alterations, (i know, who are we kidding?) you can simply return it, or be optimistic and hope that MR. REALLY RIGHT is just around the corner. Keep it to be used again, or dye it, or restyle it.
3. YOUR PARTNER - if your partner doesn’t already know, you need to tell them. Text messaging is not ok - you need to ‘adult up’ and have the conversation, or not.
4. HONEYMOON or HONEYDEW - you’ve heard the expression ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemonade’ - we’re not talking about Beyonce’s epic album, but follow her lead and turn that honeymoon into honeydew! Grab a gal pal or go alone - you never know if Mr. REALLY RIGHT is doing the same thing! FYI, for the future - take out honeymoon insurance.
5. EVERYBODY ELSE - The guest list, and that includes family (you and your partners), work associates and friends. People you might continue to see. You really don’t owe anyone except the key players an explanation so some favorite standbys (which CAN be done via text, email, snapchat?) are:
“Remember that time you asked me if i was really sure about this? Guess what?”
"This is an official UNSAVE the date. Details will NOT be following at a later date."
In order to turn the big day back into just another day, you need to realize that at the end of the day, it IS just another day. Marriage, hopefully, is for the rest of your life. A wedding is a party. We want to be there for you. For the good times and the bad. The hard and the easy. The beginning and the end. Let us help.
Want to share your wedding woes or bridal bliss? We’re listening. We’re here.